Because it's funny

Humor and off topic conversation

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Coyote » Sun Jun 28, 2015 8:07 pm

HR Paperstacks wrote:Came across a speed limit sign that doesn't end in a 5 or 0 off Dahlman Ave (32nd Ave) just south of I-80:

https://www.google.com/maps/@41.221617, ... 6656?hl=en

9? Really?


I found this in Denver a few years back:

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby jessep28 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 8:49 pm

For heavy equipment, 9 mph is pretty fast.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby skinzfan23 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 10:00 pm

Haha, 10 mph is just too dang fast.

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby nebugeater » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:33 am

HR Paperstacks wrote:Came across a speed limit sign that doesn't end in a 5 or 0 off Dahlman Ave (32nd Ave) just south of I-80:

https://www.google.com/maps/@41.221617, ... 6656?hl=en

9? Really?


Looks like private property. Not all that uncommon of practice to get people to notice on private ground. See it worked too, you took note.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby thenewguy » Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:54 pm

There is a sign in cb along north 8th on the way to big lake that says "DOWN SLOW"
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Linkin5 » Fri Sep 04, 2015 4:07 pm


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Re: Because it's funny

Postby HR Paperstacks » Sat Sep 05, 2015 12:36 pm

Hilarious! But they technically have three interstates...not two.

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Coyote » Mon Oct 12, 2015 9:15 pm

KMTV anchor Mike DiGiacomo gets punked:

https://youtu.be/Pab5NNXdxyE
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby jessep28 » Sun Nov 01, 2015 1:55 pm

Zoo Trespasser Bitten By Tiger


An Omaha woman was bitten by a tiger at the Henry Doorly Zoo Sunday morning.

Police were called to CHI Health Creighton University Medical Center at 7:20 a.m. where an unruly patient was seeking treatment for a hand injury.

Officers say 33-year-old Jacqueline Eide was being aggressive toward staff and appeared to be either drunk or on drugs. She had broken into the zoo around 4 a.m. to pet a tiger. When she reached into the cage, she was bitten on the left hand. A friend later drove her to the hospital.

Eide was cited for criminal trespass and remained at the hospital for treatment.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby RNcyanide » Sun Nov 01, 2015 3:22 pm

jessep28 wrote:Zoo Trespasser Bitten By Tiger


An Omaha woman was bitten by a tiger at the Henry Doorly Zoo Sunday morning.

Police were called to CHI Health Creighton University Medical Center at 7:20 a.m. where an unruly patient was seeking treatment for a hand injury.

Officers say 33-year-old Jacqueline Eide was being aggressive toward staff and appeared to be either drunk or on drugs. She had broken into the zoo around 4 a.m. to pet a tiger. When she reached into the cage, she was bitten on the left hand. A friend later drove her to the hospital.

Eide was cited for criminal trespass and remained at the hospital for treatment.


This.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Brad » Sun Nov 01, 2015 3:55 pm

Lol, people are so stupid!
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Garrett » Mon Nov 02, 2015 9:25 am

I'm seeing this story all over the place now. Several of my Chicago friends have shared it on Facebook, and it's on my google front page. Good work Omaha.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby RNcyanide » Mon Nov 02, 2015 11:38 am

Garrett wrote:I'm seeing this story all over the place now. Several of my Chicago friends have shared it on Facebook, and it's on my google front page. Good work Omaha.


At least we're not Florida :D
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Linkin5 » Mon Nov 02, 2015 12:04 pm

RNcyanide wrote:
Garrett wrote:I'm seeing this story all over the place now. Several of my Chicago friends have shared it on Facebook, and it's on my google front page. Good work Omaha.


At least we're not Florida :D


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Re: Because it's funny

Postby GetUrban » Mon Nov 02, 2015 12:59 pm

Our new slogan.... "Omaha, come pet our tiger!"

Now we just need to find one that likes to be petted.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby RNcyanide » Mon Nov 02, 2015 1:27 pm

GetUrban wrote:Our new slogan.... "Omaha, come pet our tiger!"

Now we just need to find one that likes to be petted.


Alternatively, we could just do this:

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby HR Paperstacks » Tue Nov 03, 2015 7:41 pm

Linkin5 wrote:
RNcyanide wrote:
Garrett wrote:I'm seeing this story all over the place now. Several of my Chicago friends have shared it on Facebook, and it's on my google front page. Good work Omaha.


At least we're not Florida :D


Florida Man, the superhero nobody asked for or wanted.

But then where would all these great stories come from?!

At least he's better than Alabama Man:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrimMyOoEDA

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby jessep28 » Wed Nov 04, 2015 1:48 pm

Strip club owner, lawyer stomp out of Hall County Board meeting; 'This is the worst place in America,' attorney says

Tracy Overstreet / World-Herald News Service wrote:By Tracy Overstreet / World-Herald News Service

GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — A Lincoln businessman and his New York attorney stomped out of a Hall County board meeting Tuesday morning, just seconds after the board passed new zoning regulations overseeing adult-oriented businesses.

Businessman Shane Harrington, who wore a camera on his ballcap that was recording throughout, testified before the board during a Tuesday morning public hearing on why he felt the zoning regulations — and stipulations outlined in a new county ordinance prohibiting public nudity — were unfair to the strip club he has been trying to open in Hall County since late last year.


The paragraph in bold is why I'm posting this here (emphasis mine):

Of specific concern were stipulations to close at midnight and maintain a six-foot buffer between club employees and patrons.

Harrington said other businesses that don’t serve alcohol, such as grocery stores, are allowed to be open 24 hours, so he didn’t think it was fair for the county to set more restrictive hours on his juice bar. Even bars that serve alcohol are allowed to stay open until 1 a.m., Harrington said.

The six-foot buffer would prevent patrons from being a gentleman and handing money to the dancers, Harrington said. Instead, they would have to wad up money and throw it — hoping to not miss the dancer or hit her in the eye.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby nebugeater » Wed Nov 04, 2015 3:23 pm

jessep28 wrote:Strip club owner, lawyer stomp out of Hall County Board meeting; 'This is the worst place in America,' attorney says

Tracy Overstreet / World-Herald News Service wrote:By Tracy Overstreet / World-Herald News Service

GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — A Lincoln businessman and his New York attorney stomped out of a Hall County board meeting Tuesday morning, just seconds after the board passed new zoning regulations overseeing adult-oriented businesses.

Businessman Shane Harrington, who wore a camera on his ballcap that was recording throughout, testified before the board during a Tuesday morning public hearing on why he felt the zoning regulations — and stipulations outlined in a new county ordinance prohibiting public nudity — were unfair to the strip club he has been trying to open in Hall County since late last year.


The paragraph in bold is why I'm posting this here (emphasis mine):

Of specific concern were stipulations to close at midnight and maintain a six-foot buffer between club employees and patrons.

Harrington said other businesses that don’t serve alcohol, such as grocery stores, are allowed to be open 24 hours, so he didn’t think it was fair for the county to set more restrictive hours on his juice bar. Even bars that serve alcohol are allowed to stay open until 1 a.m., Harrington said.

The six-foot buffer would prevent patrons from being a gentleman and handing money to the dancers, Harrington said. Instead, they would have to wad up money and throw it — hoping to not miss the dancer or hit her in the eye.



It's all about the safety!
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Garrett » Wed Nov 04, 2015 6:58 pm

nebugeater wrote:
jessep28 wrote:Strip club owner, lawyer stomp out of Hall County Board meeting; 'This is the worst place in America,' attorney says

Tracy Overstreet / World-Herald News Service wrote:By Tracy Overstreet / World-Herald News Service

GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — A Lincoln businessman and his New York attorney stomped out of a Hall County board meeting Tuesday morning, just seconds after the board passed new zoning regulations overseeing adult-oriented businesses.

Businessman Shane Harrington, who wore a camera on his ballcap that was recording throughout, testified before the board during a Tuesday morning public hearing on why he felt the zoning regulations — and stipulations outlined in a new county ordinance prohibiting public nudity — were unfair to the strip club he has been trying to open in Hall County since late last year.


The paragraph in bold is why I'm posting this here (emphasis mine):

Of specific concern were stipulations to close at midnight and maintain a six-foot buffer between club employees and patrons.

Harrington said other businesses that don’t serve alcohol, such as grocery stores, are allowed to be open 24 hours, so he didn’t think it was fair for the county to set more restrictive hours on his juice bar. Even bars that serve alcohol are allowed to stay open until 1 a.m., Harrington said.

The six-foot buffer would prevent patrons from being a gentleman and handing money to the dancers, Harrington said. Instead, they would have to wad up money and throw it — hoping to not miss the dancer or hit her in the eye.



It's all about the safety!

Maybe the strippers could all wear hard hats and protective eye wear. I'm sure that would solve the problem completely.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby nebugeater » Wed Nov 04, 2015 7:08 pm

Garrett wrote:
nebugeater wrote:
jessep28 wrote:Strip club owner, lawyer stomp out of Hall County Board meeting; 'This is the worst place in America,' attorney says

Tracy Overstreet / World-Herald News Service wrote:By Tracy Overstreet / World-Herald News Service

GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — A Lincoln businessman and his New York attorney stomped out of a Hall County board meeting Tuesday morning, just seconds after the board passed new zoning regulations overseeing adult-oriented businesses.

Businessman Shane Harrington, who wore a camera on his ballcap that was recording throughout, testified before the board during a Tuesday morning public hearing on why he felt the zoning regulations — and stipulations outlined in a new county ordinance prohibiting public nudity — were unfair to the strip club he has been trying to open in Hall County since late last year.


The paragraph in bold is why I'm posting this here (emphasis mine):

Of specific concern were stipulations to close at midnight and maintain a six-foot buffer between club employees and patrons.

Harrington said other businesses that don’t serve alcohol, such as grocery stores, are allowed to be open 24 hours, so he didn’t think it was fair for the county to set more restrictive hours on his juice bar. Even bars that serve alcohol are allowed to stay open until 1 a.m., Harrington said.

The six-foot buffer would prevent patrons from being a gentleman and handing money to the dancers, Harrington said. Instead, they would have to wad up money and throw it — hoping to not miss the dancer or hit her in the eye.



It's all about the safety!

Maybe the strippers could all wear hard hats and protective eye wear. I'm sure that would solve the problem completely.


That wouldn't help with paper cuts.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby PotatoeEatsFish » Sun Nov 08, 2015 8:44 pm

Plastic body suits would prevent those.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby jessep28 » Sun Nov 15, 2015 7:29 am

Soccer quality flop by Baylor last night in the 4th quarter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzPU3IcfwCY
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby bigredmed » Sun Nov 15, 2015 11:28 am

Soccer flops in football? Another reason to be glad NU is in the big ten.

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby HR Paperstacks » Sun Nov 15, 2015 11:29 am

They actually got away with that?!

That reminds me of a time at my last job when I saw an employee in one of the stores take a fake fall to get workers comp. The video clearly showed the guy thinking about it and then push a cart with his foot as he slowly got on the ground. In the end, needless to say, he got fired. /grandpaing-it

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby jessep28 » Sun Nov 15, 2015 10:53 pm

bigredmed wrote:Soccer flops in football? Another reason to be glad NU is in the big ten.



HR Paperstacks wrote:They actually got away with that?!

That reminds me of a time at my last job when I saw an employee in one of the stores take a fake fall to get workers comp. The video clearly showed the guy thinking about it and then push a cart with his foot as he slowly got on the ground. In the end, needless to say, he got fired. /grandpaing-it


Apparently the player did injure his ankle a few plays earlier, and was told to fall down so he could get off the field.

http://sports.yahoo.com/news/espns-herb ... ncaaf.html
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Coyote » Fri Nov 27, 2015 10:42 am

Spider causes man to trash flat, scream death threats -- police called

CNN wrote:"Come on mate, what have you done to her?"

Police were questioning a "flushed" and "out of breath" man who had answered the door to a flat in Wollstonecraft, a small harborside suburb of Sydney, Australia.

The booming sounds of a man shouting "I'm going to kill you" and a "woman screaming hysterically" had earlier echoed through the apartment block, sometime before 2.00am, Saturday November 21. The commotion disturbed neighbors, who were quick to alert the local police force.

"Where's your wife?" asked one of the policemen.

"I don't have one," the homeowner responded, after inhaling some air.

"Where's your girlfriend?" the officer continued.

"I don't have one," he said.

Unsatisfied, the same policeman pressed: "We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I live alone," the man protested.

The officers then told the man that neighbors had heard death threats, screams and the crash of furniture being flung around the apartment.

"It was a spider," the man tentatively explained.

"A really big one."

Incredulous, the policeman asked: "What about the women screaming?"

"Yeah sorry that was me," he said. "I really, really hate spiders."

A new theory had emerged -- the man was indeed alone in the apartment, he was responsible for both the "womanly" screams and the threats to kill. They were not aimed at a woman, but an eight-legged arachnid.

Conscious that this could just be an audacious lie, the police searched the trashed apartment. However, they found just one victim, a "rather large" spider.

After deliberating, the cops concluded that the disturbance was indeed caused by an arachnophobic man wildly chasing a spider around his home, while desperately clutching a can of Mortein insect spray.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby HR Paperstacks » Fri Nov 27, 2015 11:19 am

lol I almost posted that story here yesterday!

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Coyote » Fri Nov 27, 2015 11:22 am

HR Paperstacks wrote:lol I almost posted that story here yesterday!


I almost posted it yesterday also, after I saw Channel 7 was running it, but today it looks like this story went viral...
At the end of the article they say there is a funny facebook quote form the police department, but they have that blocked here at work.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby HR Paperstacks » Fri Nov 27, 2015 11:41 am

Coyote wrote:At the end of the article they say there is a funny facebook quote form the police department, but they have that blocked here at work.

Here's the relevant part of that post:
Harbourside LAC - NSW Police Force wrote:21/11/2015 Wollstonecraft 2.00am. Police received numerous calls in relation to a violent domestic, with reports of a woman screaming hysterically, a man yelling “I’m going to kill you, your dead! Die Die!!”, with the sounds of furniture being tossed around the unit. Numerous police cars responded to the address and began banging on the door. A man answered the door, out of breath and rather flushed with the following conversation:
Police: “Where’s your wife”
Male: “umm I don’t have one”
Police: “Where your girlfriend”
Male: “umm I don’t have one”
Police: “We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?”
Male: “I don’t know what you’re talking about I live alone”
Police: “Come on mate people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit”
At this point the male became very sheepish.
Police: “come on mate, what have you done to her.”
Male: “it was a spider”
Police “Sorry??”
Male: “It was a spider, a really big one!!
Police :”what about the women screaming?”
Male: “Yeah sorry that was me, I really really hate spiders”
As it turns out the male was chasing a rather large spider around the unit with a can or mortein. After a very long pause some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left.

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Coyote » Sun Nov 29, 2015 10:55 am

Turkey Whacks North Platte Power

WOWT wrote:A turkey overcome by a bout of wanderlust (and perhaps a vengeful spirit) wandered into a North Platte power station Saturday and blew out electricity to an estimated 6,000 customers.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Brad » Tue Dec 01, 2015 4:37 pm

LOL... This just keeps getting better!

From Brandon Scott: The attorney for Jacqueline Eide entered a "not guilty" plea for all charges stemming from the alleged trespassing incident at the Omaha Zoo where Eide was bit by a tiger. Eide wasn't in court - her attorney said she had a waiver allowing her to stay home. However, she did send new head shots with her attorney to give to reporters. More details on the case here: http://bit.ly/1HEMKKh


LOL... Someone not like their mug shot on TV!
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby jessep28 » Tue Dec 01, 2015 5:06 pm

Brad wrote:LOL... This just keeps getting better!

From Brandon Scott: The attorney for Jacqueline Eide entered a "not guilty" plea for all charges stemming from the alleged trespassing incident at the Omaha Zoo where Eide was bit by a tiger. Eide wasn't in court - her attorney said she had a waiver allowing her to stay home. However, she did send new head shots with her attorney to give to reporters. More details on the case here: http://bit.ly/1HEMKKh


LOL... Someone not like their mug shot on TV!


It's a cropped selfie too:

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Brad » Tue Dec 01, 2015 9:20 pm

It got better when they interviewed her attorney too... James Martin Davis!

No way he believes that load of |expletive| he unloaded on the local media today!
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby jessep28 » Wed Dec 02, 2015 12:06 am

When I was called up for jury duty several years ago, on the case I was ordered to appear for, James Martin Davis was the attorney for the defendant. It was a DUI case with additional extracurricular activities like a brief car chase or something like that. I went through the selection process, but was not chosen to sit. I was disappointed in part, because I wanted to see how Davis operated in the courtroom.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby jessep28 » Mon Dec 14, 2015 3:35 pm

The threats and stuff these people have been getting aren't funny, but apparently a Houston Ford dealer didn't remove the vinyl decals off of a plumber's work truck after he traded it in. The truck was sold at auction overseas, and eventually ended up in the hands of ISIS.

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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Brad » Mon Dec 14, 2015 4:03 pm

oh, that sucks. I didn't take my website off my last car...
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby skinzfan23 » Wed Dec 16, 2015 9:08 am

Look at this picture from yesterday. Arrow Towing was called to lift a Jeep from the Mormon Bridge: Sounds like a lot of stolen cars have been recovered near the bridge lately.
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Re: Because it's funny

Postby Brad » Wed Dec 16, 2015 10:51 pm

It It was a 4 door, I would blame it on the1wags... LOL

Aarrow had more photos on their FB page this morning if you are interested
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