Incredulously Strange News Stories

[nebugeater]

Never underestimate the power of toilet paper!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/1 ... 29555.html

[Omababe]

http://www.8newsnow.com/story/15369464/ ... adlines%29

[S33]

lol - "in his digestive system" or up his |expletive|?

[Omababe]

lol - "in his digestive system" or up his |expletive|?

I assume it's intended to go in one end and out the other, eventually.

[almighty_tuna]

Hey Brad, hold on to your lenses next time... ;)

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2011/0 ... luma-home/

[iamjacobm]

Man taken to detox after thinking police station was casino

http://journalstar.com/news/local/artic ... 4a480.html

[Omababe]

Yeah, right!

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/cerab ... 98183.html

[S33]

I don't know about anyone else, but I would much rather be called a midget than a dwarf. It's almost like being called a hobbit or something.

[HuskerDave]

Yeah, right!

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/cerab ... 98183.html

As I understand it, it's the dwarfs who were asking for the law to be repealed. They had been making good money at this until someone (not a dwarf) decided it was demeaning.

[Brad]

He Lives in Storage Unit & Won’t Let Her In

http://www.wowt.com/home/headlines/132053608.html

Lincoln police were called out to a self-storage business Sunday morning where they found two neighbors involved in a disturbance. In the middle of it all was one of the neighbor’s girlfriend.

Police say 58-year old Jared Turner, Junior has been living in a storage unit at 6041 Cornhusker Highway. On Sunday morning, his girlfriend became upset when he wouldn’t let her in. She resorted to knocking on the door, screaming, and honking her car horn.

A woman living in a neighboring storage unit became upset too. She wielded a baseball bat, shattering the girlfriend’s window. The girlfriend backed up to get away from the angry neighbor and ended up crashing into the door of another storage unit causing $500 in damage.

The bat-wielding neighbor has not been located.

When police arrived, they say they found Jared in possession of 20.2 grams of marijuana. He was arrested for drug possession with intent to deliver and possession of drug paraphernalia.

[nebugeater]

Looks like a great idea for another reality TV show. Fit in nicely with Storage Wars, Pawn Stars, Repo shows, etc.

He Lives in Storage Unit & Won’t Let Her In

http://www.wowt.com/home/headlines/132053608.html

Lincoln police were called out to a self-storage business Sunday morning where they found two neighbors involved in a disturbance. In the middle of it all was one of the neighbor’s girlfriend.

Police say 58-year old Jared Turner, Junior has been living in a storage unit at 6041 Cornhusker Highway. On Sunday morning, his girlfriend became upset when he wouldn’t let her in. She resorted to knocking on the door, screaming, and honking her car horn.

A woman living in a neighboring storage unit became upset too. She wielded a baseball bat, shattering the girlfriend’s window. The girlfriend backed up to get away from the angry neighbor and ended up crashing into the door of another storage unit causing $500 in damage.

The bat-wielding neighbor has not been located.

When police arrived, they say they found Jared in possession of 20.2 grams of marijuana. He was arrested for drug possession with intent to deliver and possession of drug paraphernalia.

[S33]

Awesome! I want to see the folks from Storage Wars cut the lock on a unit with those lovely people sitting inside smoking from the bong.

[Brad]

Check out this Mug Shot!
http://www.ketv.com/news/29728388/detail.html

[Brad]

Ninja Cow???

[Candleshoe]

Check out this Mug Shot!
http://www.ketv.com/news/29728388/detail.html

some people never really leave Junior High...

[Brad]

Ninja Cow???

Now I can't decide whats funnier...

(A) A cow gets 5+ stories written about it in the local paper.
(B) That they call it the "Ninja Cow"
(C) or this little gem in the OWH this afternoon...

UPDATE: "Ninja cow" has been caught.

Plattsmouth officials confirmed Wednesday that the cow that has been roaming near their city since mid-September has been corralled.

A person close to the situation, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the cow was caught about 1 p.m.

Seriously???

[Big E]

you forgot (D) Someone actually bought that paper.

[TitosBuritoBarn]

UPDATE: "Ninja cow" has been caught.

Plattsmouth officials confirmed Wednesday that the cow that has been roaming near their city since mid-September has been corralled.

A person close to the situation, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the cow was caught about 1 p.m.

Seriously???

You don't take your chances when dealing with ninjas.

[Omababe]

ReadAllAboutIt here:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/newt- ... act?page=2

[Big E]

http://www.omaha.com/article/20111211/N ... oncert-pie

Headline:

"Arenas to vie for concert pie"

Photo:

Taylor Swift

That is definitely some fine concert pie.

[Brad]

Carjacker foiled by stick shift

http://www.omaha.com/article/20111213/N ... tick-shift

A brazen carjacker slipped inside an idling vehicle outside a day care Tuesday morning, ordered the little girl in back to get out - and stalled the manual transmission to foil the theft.

[jessep28]

Carjacker foiled by stick shift

http://www.omaha.com/article/20111213/N ... tick-shift

A brazen carjacker slipped inside an idling vehicle outside a day care Tuesday morning, ordered the little girl in back to get out - and stalled the manual transmission to foil the theft.

Lots of car thefts this time of year. At least lock your doors (carry 2nd set of keys) or have a remote start installed if you plan on running your car for 45 minutes to warm it up. Another option too is to just suck it up and sit in a cold car for a few minutes while the engine warms up as it's driven.

[Brad]

I really want a remote start I can start from inside the Clink from my cell phone! Is there an app for that?

[Uffda]

I really want a remote start I can start from inside the Clink from my cell phone! Is there an app for that?

first depends on the car -- I have heard the Hyundai Veloster has or will have that capability.

But I am looking at a manual so won't have that

[Coyote]

Hooked on chicken nuggets: Girl, 17, who has eaten nothing else since age TWO rushed to hospital after collapsing

Ever since she was a toddler, Stacey Irvine has eaten little else but chicken nuggets and the occasional portion of chips.
Now, at the age of 17, she has been warned by doctors to change her appalling diet or die.
The factory worker – who says she has never tasted fresh fruit or vegetables – had to be taken to hospital earlier this week when she collapsed after struggling to breathe.

[ShawJ]

This raises the question: did DeWalt get banned or did he just eat too many chicken nuggets?

[Brad]

This raises the question: did DeWalt get banned or did he just eat too many chicken nuggets?

He told the Admin his goals was to get banned, so he is.

[S33]

I don't think that is really why he got banned, as much as it was an excuse to pull the trigger. If I recall, there were a couple other contributors in the thread in question, who were also just as outrageous.

[Omaha_Gabe]

'Piggyback bandit' banned in five states

http://espn.go.com/high-school/story/_/ ... -northwest

What they were dealing with the night of Feb. 4 was the Piggyback Bandit -- Sherwin Shayegan of Bothell, Wash., a 28-year-old man who ingratiates himself with high school sports teams, then hoists his 5-foot-8, 240-pound frame onto the backs of the student athletes.

[S33]

Just a pervert looking for a clever way to rub his sack on unsuspecting high school kids. Hard not to laugh at that one, as long as it's not my kids. lol

[Brad]

Check this out, Reporter doesn't even look:

[youtube][/youtube]

[Bosco55David]

Check this out, Reporter doesn't even look:

[youtube][/youtube]

Now you know why nobody watches that news channel down here :mrgreen:

[Coyote]

Shot man aimed at caged racoon

The Iowa Department of Natural Resources says 68-year-old Larry Godwin was using a 22-caliber handgun to shoot the caged raccoon at around 11 a.m. Saturday west of Des Moines. The bullet ricocheted off the cage and struck him in the lower abdomen on the right side. He dropped the gun and it fired again, shooting him again in about the same spot.

[jessep28]

NC man drinks gasoline from jar, lights up, dies

http://www.sacbee.com/2012/02/28/429840 ... m-jar.html

[Omababe]

ReadAllAboutIt here:

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-03-2 ... ntion.html

[S33]

"Oh, I was just watching TV and noticed that Romney was referenced as being similar to an etch-a-sketch. On that note, I better run out and buy one".

[Brad]

NBA Player Delonte West was fine $25,000 for giving Gordon Hayward a "Wet Willie" during Monday Night's basketball game...

[Coyote]

Austrian town with obscene name voting for change
The small village of F---ing will vote on whether to change its moniker next week

[jessep28]

[youtube][/youtube]

[almighty_tuna]

Sometimes you just can't make this stuff up. Skidmore.