Mental Health

[stormchaser]

This time of year is a struggle for many when it comes to mental health - including myself. I'm sharing this because I feel it's important that people know they aren't alone during these struggles no matter how much it can feel like you are and it isn't anything to be ashamed of, etc - and it definitely doesn't mean you're "weak". It means you're human.

Before I begin, I must warn this topic may be a sensitive one for some so if that's you, please discontinue reading. My intentions aren't to upset anyone - it's to try to shed light into a topic that people tend to ignore until it becomes something you personally struggle with yourself.

Recently I went through a stretch where I was struggling for a multitude of reasons, none of which ultimately matter. What matters is I made the mistake of allowing things to get to a point where I felt my only option was to end it all. I researched what pills I could take and not wake up, how much a gun would cost, etc, etc (I'm not a gun person so I don't own one). Eventually I got into my car and started driving down a nearby 2 lane highway with every intention of crossing the center line and meeting an oncoming semi-truck head on. It seemed like the easiest way and still allowed my family to get life insurance money so they'd be taken care of.

I drove several miles and thankfully no semi-truck or bigger vehicle ever came along from the opposite direction BEFORE I was able to snap myself out of it enough to pull over, reset myself enough to know doing something like that just hurts the people that care about me. I went back home and sought help.

Lesson learned, never let it get to that point. Say something, get help, call 988. Do whatever you need to do to not make an irreversible mistake.

I'm not ashamed, if you're struggling (even if you haven't admitted it to yourself yet), don't let that shame get the best of you. MANY people also struggle and you're not alone. Get the help you need.

[almighty_tuna]

Solid reminder to take care of one's mental health. Glad your plan did not succeed and you're still with us.

[Busguy2010]

I usually do get Seasonal Affective Disorder, but oddly enough, this year it'd be for all the opppsite reasons. The weather has been, as some would describe as "beautiful". And it has been. Its been the kind of weather that after a long, dreadful winter, you walk outside and take a deep breath of the fresh air that lingers with the scent of moist, thawing, fresh soil. I guess to me the weather this winter doesnt feel rewarding, because outside of maybe 14 days of actual winter-like weather, meteorological winter is half over, and its been spring-like the majority of the time. So I guess in a weird way, you can say I have SAD for the fact that we haven't really experienced all 4 seasons yet. Like even today, yes, at least finally it feels like winter, but I don't think its quite miserable because theres also virtually no snow on the ground.

Finally a day that potentially warrants firing up the greenhouse. Thats my real happy place. Temperatures like today, but with a beautiful, hefty snow falling, yet I can fire up my greenhouse and have it cranking away at 80 degrees while im sorting out the stuff I need to get my seeds started, which is basically now or within a couple weeks. So I can say I'm glad for the foreseeable future, itll be normal winter-like weather. So, I guess in essence, for me at least, I guess I have to feel the misery in order to appreciate the happiness that comes along at the spring thaw. If it never snows or freezes, that reward won't be there.

I could go on and on. I know this thread isn't about the weather. I've been there. I've never actually carried anything out, but I've definitely gone down some dark roads. I dont think them appropriate to share here, but if anybody wants to hear those stories, I could definitely talk about them in a PM, feel free.

[Erik]

I really love the winter as well, its an escapism and comfort season for me.

Autumn is my overall favorite, but winter is close.

[Dundeemaha]

Thank you for sharing Stormchaser. I'm so glad that you were able to reset and it sounds like are embracing getting help now.

My mom died by suicide almost 9 years ago. It is so much harder on the loved ones left than a person can realize.

If anyone is in that place, thinking those thoughts, remember that there's always another way. There's always a path forward even if you can't see it yet in the dark.