Incredulously Strange News Stories

Big E · Post by **Big E** » Sat Feb 21, 2009 1:49 pm

Stargazer wrote:Oh, and I won my match.

I'm guessing that was a win-win situation on the way in.

Did you both wear the unitard?

Post by **Brad** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 4:37 pm

24-Year-Old Woman Flees Scene After Crashing Car Into Pole

http://www.ketv.com/news/18802124/detail.html

www.ketv.com wrote:OMAHA, Neb. -- A 24-year-old woman has been arrested and charged with felony DUI after police said she crashed her car into a pole and fled the scene as her passenger suffered life-threatening injuries.

Police said Laurie Olson was driving drunk when she lost control of a black Chevrolet Cobalt at 144th and U streets Thursday morning at 1:17 a.m.

Police said Olson fled the scene and went back to her house near 152nd and U streets, where she was found hiding in the backyard.

Police were tipped off by her vehicle's registration, which listed her address.

She couldn't get in the house because the keys were still in the car.

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Thu Feb 26, 2009 4:38 pm

I'm so glad I don't have a car. That would be me every week.

Post by **Brad** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 12:44 pm

Man Traps Kitten in Bong

http://www.kolnkgin.com/home/headlines/40540082.html

KOLNKGIN.com wrote:A Lancaster County man is in jail on drug charges and animal abuse after deputies found a kitten trapped in his marijuana pipe.

Chief Deputy Bill Jarrett said deputies were called to a home at 5700 Saltillo Road on a disturbance Sunday night.

When deputies arrived Jarrett said they talked with the owner of the home and his grandson, Acea Schomaker. Jarrett said Schomaker had a drug warrant for his arrest and when deputies went to his bedroom to arrest him they found him smoking marijuana through a homemade bong.

As they were arresting him Jarrett said the bong moved on its own. One of the deputies opened the 12 inch by 6 inch container and found a one year old kitten trapped inside. Jarrett said Schomaker told deputies the cat was out of control and he wanted to calm him down. Schomaker was arrested for the warrant, possession of marijuana and animal neglect/abuse. The kitten was taken to the Capital Humane Society.

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 12:52 pm

I've known many people who have done that to their animals.

Post by **Brad** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 12:57 pm

DTO Luv wrote:I've known many people who have done that to their animals.

Seriously? That's F-up

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:02 pm

Seriously. Lots of people get their animals stoned.

Big E · Post by **Big E** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 2:07 pm

DTO Luv wrote:Seriously. Lots of people get their animals stoned.

Getting them stoned and sticking them INSIDE A |expletive| BONG are slightly different things... although I imagine the Humane Society would probably disagree with me.

10thstgoober · Post by **10thstgoober** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:42 pm

First I thought the headline was overblown. Poor kitty was only 6 months old!

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 12:47 pm

Guess what's on CNN now?

Coyote · Post by **Coyote** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:42 pm

Just made David Letterman. "Michael Phelps!"

Post by **Brad** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 11:08 pm

Coyote wrote:Just made David Letterman. "Michael Phelps!"

What was the joke?

Coyote · Post by **Coyote** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 11:36 pm

That was it. I don't know if he mentioned where this was - but he just told the story about the cat in the bong and made a reference to Phelps. Cue laugh sign.

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 8:18 am

Brilliant! Man robs church in Lincoln.

http://omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2798&u_sid=10578134

If you're dumb enough to give away that much money of your own free will someone should rob you.

Post by **Brad** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 11:11 am

DTO Luv wrote:Brilliant! Man robs church in Lincoln.

http://omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2798&u_sid=10578134

If you're dumb enough to give away that much money of your own free will someone should rob you.

I think you are kind of over simplifying it... It is obviously someone that knew what he was doing, he knew when to show up, knew what to do, how to sign for it, and found a similar uniform... I bet its a former armored car employee.

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Wed Mar 04, 2009 12:17 pm

Or the other employee was in on it.

2Adam29 · Post by **2Adam29** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 7:12 am

There had been an alert sent out to businesses in the area to be on the lookout for the man, so it wasn't an inside job at the church. He had intended to swindle people out of their cash using the uniform.

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:44 am

What exactly did he get in trouble for in Omaha? I remember hearing about it but wasn't sure what it was.

Big E · Post by **Big E** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 10:44 am

Not sure how "incredulously strange" the story is assuming it is, in fact, a legit run.

The most "incredulously strange" thing about it might be the fact that he's a Republican that stands up for civil rights and pledges not to spend over budget.

A real Republican with a p0rn store???!?!? My dreams have come true!

Big E · Post by **Big E** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:49 am

Hey, if you want someone running your campaign you want Larry Flynt. That guy is very smart.

Besides, it isn't like Vitter can attack her on the values platform...

ricko · Post by **ricko** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:39 pm

WHORES? In the Senate? Naaaaaaaaaaah.

Bryan1117 · Post by **Bryan1117** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:55 am

Zombies Ahead on Harrison Street

http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2 ... d=10579611

This was on the Omaha World Herald website last night... While this is a pretty funny prank, I had to laugh at first, the fact is this is going to cost the city money to fix this prank.

the1wags · Post by **the1wags** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:12 am

Whats with the zombies stuff on all of these. I'd put "You would've been home 20 mins ago if you lived downtown."

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:15 am

I'd put something like "Titty Bar: Next Right"

S33 · Post by **S33** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:42 pm

Bryan1117 wrote:Zombies Ahead on Harrison Street

http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2 ... d=10579611

This was on the Omaha World Herald website last night... While this is a pretty funny prank, I had to laugh at first, the fact is this is going to cost the city money to fix this prank.

Those idiots piggy backed that idea from some college kids in TX. They should have switched it up!

Coyote · Post by **Coyote** » Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:13 pm

Too much detail. That hurts.

Post by **Brad** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:51 pm

Not really strange, but what the heck...

Too-tall truck stuck at I-680 overpass

http://omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2798&u_sid=10594958

Alyssa Schukar on omaha.com wrote:A semi-trailer truck hauling a grain scale from Minnesota to Louisiana is stopped under the overpass at Interstate 680 and Pacific Street this afternoon.

The southbound truck stopped when the driver realized that it was too tall to get through.

The stopped truck, which is largely sitting on the shoulder, is blocking part of the right-hand lane of traffic.

Coyote · Post by **Coyote** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 3:01 pm

It was still there at 8:30 pm when I was driving home last night. crazy.

Post by **Brad** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 3:08 pm

Coyote wrote:It was still there at 8:30 pm when I was driving home last night. crazy.

I must have past it just a bit before you... I think they waited until about 9 or so when the traffic had calmed down and then backed it down to the end of the exit ramp.

There was a bunch of cops and a crane set up on the shoulder of I80 at 84th street. Never found out what that was.

Post by **Brad** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:38 pm

Guy Wrecks motorized bar stool, arrested for DUI

Sorry, its a video story:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29971638/?GT1=43001

And of course on the UNO message Board, http://www.mavpuck.com, they are saying it was the guy that drives the miniature Zamboni at the hockey games...

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:42 pm

I've never even heard of a motorized bar stool but doesn't it stand to reason that they'll all be driven by drunks?

justnick · Post by **justnick** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:43 pm

DTO Luv wrote:I've never even heard of a motorized bar stool but doesn't it stand to reason that they'll all be driven by drunks?

No. Because now I'm going to drive one just to throw you off.

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:14 am

There it is.

TitosBuritoBarn · Post by **TitosBuritoBarn** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 10:37 pm

Women's Desire to Display Love for Tofu on License Plate Found Too Easily Misinterpreted for Obscenity

TheDenverChannel.com wrote:DENVER -- ILVTOFU.

Is that a statement professing a vegetarian's love of curdled soybean milk or an obscene statement?

The Colorado Department of Revenue said it could be viewed as the latter, and won't allow a Centennial woman to personalize her license plate with the phrase ILVTOFU.

Kelley Coffman-Lee, a mother of three, said she believes the Department of Revenue missed the intended healthy message, "I-LV-TOFU," and misread it as the far steamier "I-LV-TO-F-U."

"I love tofu; it doesn't mean anything bad," Coffman-Lee told 7NEWS Tuesday.

She said she stopped consuming any animal products four years ago, and was a vegetarian for nine years prior to that.

"I'm very expressive. I'm anti-fur, anti-rodeo, anti-circus when they come to Denver, and I thought, 'Here's a chance to be positive and say I love something," Coffman-Lee said.

She explained she got the idea after hearing about a woman who was denied from customizing a similar plate in California.

When she received initial approval, Coffman-Lee said a friend with the group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animal offered to have the organization pay the $60 fee.

Word came later through a phone call that the request had been rejected because some might find it obscene, she said.

"Tofu is a word. I haven't said anything bad. I think it's crazy they denied it," said Coffman-Lee.

"It's not a dirty, evil food. It's very wholesome," she added.

"We have nothing bad to say about (Coffman-Lee's) love of tofu," said Mark Couch, spokesman for Colorado Department of Motor Vehicles. "We’re concerned about others who may misread the plate."

Couch provided 7NEWS with a copy of the state statute 42-3-211(5) relating to the issue. It reads, "There shall be no duplication of registration numbers, and the department may refuse to issue any combination of letters or numbers that carry connotations offensive to good taste and decency, are misleading, or duplicate any other license plates provided for in this article."

Couch added the Department of Revenue utilizes a review panel to assess applications for vanity plates. The F-U combination is not allowed under established guidelines, Couch said.

The panel has also devised a list of 250 prohibited three-letter combinations that may arise on randomly issued license plates. (See listing of 3-letter configurations banned by state.)

Controversy over clever combinations on plates is nothing new at DMV offices across the country.

"Let me reach for my, 'neverending story’ file," chuckled Tom Jacobs, a spokesman for the Nevada Department of Motor Vehicles.

Jacobs said Coffman-Lee's plate would likely be approved under Nevada's Revised Statutes.

"Because it's in context," Jacobs told 7NEWS. "The letters F-U are not banned across the board. They can be connected to other words that are acceptable."

Jacobs said the question considered is, "How is someone going to respond?"

He added a board was recently created to evaluate license plate complaints in Nevada.

One such plate reading, 3RDFNGR, was disallowed because of it’s reference to an obscene gesture.

A DMV official from Oregon said the issue has gone all the way to the supreme court.

Dave House, spokesman for Oregon's DMV said one driver, who was a wine connoisseur, was prohibited from having "VINO" on his license plate because of its potential suggestion of drinking and driving.

The high court ruled in the DMV's favor, citing that the state owns the plate, House said.

"We can let the public have some flexibility and still apply standards to it," he said.

House, who sits on a panel of staff members that reviews application requests in Oregon, added he would likely deny Coffman-Lee’s ILVTOFU vanity plate.

PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman said the Colorado Department of Revenue should reconsider the request.

"The DMV could do a lot of good by reconsidering its decision and allowing more people to discover the joy of soy," Reiman said.

Coffman-Lee said she can't imagine people complaining about her license plate.

"Anyone who'd call-in about that needs to get a life," she said.

While she doesn't intend to take her issue to court, Coffman-Lee said she has no plans to stop voicing her opinions -- about tofu or anything else.

"I think I'll stick with the number combination right now and get more bumper stickers," she said.

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 11:21 pm

ILUVCOK

I Love Coke

Big E · Post by **Big E** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:00 am

Can't find a link anywhere (haven't tried real hard), but Matt Lauer was talking to a woman from Texas this morning. Her 21 yr old son had died in a fight or something outside a bar. She donated her son's organs and had some of his sperm harvested.

Here's the kicker:

She wanted the sperm so SHE could carry the baby (someone else's egg).

W

T

F

?

DTO Luv · Post by **DTO Luv** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:04 am

So the baby would be her son/grandson? Cue the banjos.

the1wags · Post by **the1wags** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:37 am

Well, we ARE talking about Texas here.

Bosco55David · Post by **Bosco55David** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:53 pm

the1wags wrote:Well, we ARE talking about Texas here.

Yeah. I thought that was common practice down there.

Coyote · Post by **Coyote** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:01 pm

Now, now - just because Texas is close to Arkansas doesn't make them guilty by association.